[Rear View] Writer Compiles 67 Tips for Avoiding Bed Bugs in New York City

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Maxwell Strachan, a sports editor, took a humorous (but not very helpful!) look at bed bugs in a recent Huffington Post Comedy article.

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September 29, 2015

Bed bugs have spread throughout the entire United States, including rural and urban areas alike. But media coverage about bed bugs tends to focus on these pests in big cities. In New York, for example, there is a lot of talk of bed bugs, simply because of the number of people (and bugs) in the vicinity.

Maxwell Strachan, senior sports editor of The Huffington Post, took a tongue-in-cheek look at bed bugs in a recent article “67 Tips For Avoiding Bedbugs in New York City.”

Here’s a sampling of his “tips” the PCT staff enjoyed reading:

6. Should you need to sit on a subway seat, sit at the edge of the seat to minimize the area of your body that could come into contact with bed bugs.

14. If rich, create automated payment system that delivers new sheets to you every day. Have workers burn yesterday’s sheets. Create app. Become richer.

15. If not rich, burn sheets anyway and enjoy your mattress while you still have it.

22. Call your mom to ask if you can come hom14.e. Realize you are that child with bed bugs now. You will always be that child with bed bugs now.

25. Avoid big parties. Someone there has bed bugs.

42. Understand that if you leave your apartment, you put your fellow man at risk. Should you stay, you risk madness. The choice is yours.

45. Throw out everything and everyone you have ever loved.

51. At this point, you’re probably also thinking something like, “THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE. ON THE CEILING. IN THE WALLS. ON MY BODY.” That is totally normal. And yes, they are on/in/around all of those places.

64. Call your friends to have a drink. Realize you are that friend with bed bugs now. You will always be that friend with bed bugs now.
 

Visit http://huff.to/1hmxENE to read the entire list.